9 One trick Ponies

9) Ricardo Arjona: Unknown to non-Spanish speakers, this singer from Guatemala is pretty famous to us latinos. He's kinda foxy and I like some of his songs, but most of them just sound the same to me: Capitalism sucks! Whaaa, I wan't a woman I can't have! Whaaaa!

8) Roland Emmerich: Yes you like to destroy landmarks, and show fathers who keep their families together against insurmountable odds, time to move on.

7) Michael Cera: He basically plays George Michael over and over again and seems to be such an ungrateful little bitch towards Mitch Hurwitz. I also believe he was grossly misscast as Scott Pilgrim, the rest of the cast looks great but it pisses me off that he's the lead. (Guess I gotta work on my anger issues, this blog helps)

6) Tyler Perry: Yes racism is still pretty much alive in America, it is a serious problem that should be openly discussed, but damn it I hate that old bitch Madea, so fucking nosy and so obviously a dude. He does look kinda bottom-looking-to-hook-up-on-craigslist hot without the Madea shit on

5) Seth MacFarlane: He is a multi-talented guy, great voice, good writer and funny; but enough with the: it's like that time that.... the Cleveland Show pilot kinda sucked hard IMHO. Actually I quite like this guy, and it's nice to see one of us nerds getting such prime rib as Eliza Dushku. I'm not even sure why I put him here, guess I needed to fill up some spots.

4) Candace Bushnell: Maybe it's my lack of vagina, but everything she does seems samish to me

3) McG: I'm gonna take a beloved franchise, rape it hard in the ear and introduce it to a younger demographic, so rad bro.

2) Bill O'Reilly: What's the manly equivalent to the C-Word ? Whatever it is this guy is it, fuck it, Bill O'Reilly: You are a huge cunt. He always does his typical spiel of: I disagree with you, I'm gonna belittle you on my shit show, invite you over and try to belittle you in person. Dr. Tiller's blood is in your hands motherfucker.

Just for shits and giggles, here's a classic

1) Michael Bay: Who else? Explosions? Slow-Mo dirty hos? Racist stereotypes? Weak female roles? must be a Michael Bay joint

10 Most Annoying TV characters

10) Sookie Stackhouse: I like Anna Paquin, I really do; but fuck it all to hell if gappy isn't annoying as fuck with that fake accent and dumb shenanigans; everytime I hear BUT BEEL! I just want to change the channel (I never do, there's too much Lafayette, Eric, Vampire Archuleta, JessicaaasyourmakerIcommandyou! greatness to do that). Hope they develop more of her powers in upcoming episodes. And how fucking lucky is she? she gets to mack and grind on all of those hot dudes, specially the god on earth that is Skarsgard.

9)Maryann Forrester: While we're talking True Blood, bitch just collect Carl, your hearts and diverse meats and go inspire orgies somewhere else. I loved Michelle Forbes on BSG but I can't fucking stand her as this over the hill party girl cunt anymore. Lolo Bromios, lolo dentries, lolo-stick a-lo-lo-lolipop up your ass for all I care, just fucking go.

8) Carrie Heffernan: Best advocate for single life ever! Boner killing voice, bossy and mean. Doug was an idiot but he deserved better than this bitch. I liked her better as Stacey Carosi, still she was not even in the same league as Kelly KaPOWski

7) Izzie Stevens: Never before has a character gone through such a huge 360. I loved Izzie at first, she was cute, smart and heartfelt. Now she's pseudo-fucking ghosts, destroying a marriage, and being such an uppity bitch (It is hard to differentiate betwix Izzie and Heigl, so that just makes her even worse, 17 hours!! boo fucking hoo biatch). Die already.

6) Meredith Grey: Hate her watery eyes and dumb philosofies: I need to be extraordinary, I'll get married via Post-It. Fuck you.

5) Billy Chenowith: Incestous, crazy and too talky. He was hot but that's way too much crazy ass bullshit to put up with, his sister even died so as not to have to deal with his chatty ass anymore.

4) Celia Hodes: Loved her on earlier seasons and her chola makeover in prison, but can't stand her lately. I'm liking her copying Nancy but she's just incredibly unlikeable now. You can really tell the writers have run out of material for her: PTA, divorce, cancer, politics, jail, mexico, drug dealer, lesbianism; its way too camp for my liking.

3) Nancy Botwin: Loved, LOVED her being told off by Andy as to how big of a coward she is and how she is responsible for all the bad shit that has happened to her and her family. I rooted for Nancy at first, but now she's just so whiny and bitchy, she dresses ridonk plus she must be the worst mom on TV history, even worse than that bitch Leann Mars. Though it must be said what an incredibly sexy woman MLP is, that ass is amazing.

2) Kimmy Gibler: Why bother writing anything? can't stand this uncle-fucker. Come to think of it I also hated Michelle, Stephanie, that thrift store Robin Williams and pretty much everyone who was not Uncle Jessy and Aunt Becky

1) Harriet Brindle: I remember being like 5 years old and hating Harriet. Her voice and demeanor were so grating. I did like that bitch was always grinding on Jamie, slutyness can be a wonderful thing, even at such an early age, but she was just way too big of a c-word for my taste.

UPDATE: Just realized there are way too many women in this post, and it makes me come off as lady-hater..so my actual least favourite TV character ever is that douche Jim from According to Jim. dunno if that shit is still on, but it shouldn't, the Bush years are over after all. No way in hell that slob could get with someone as hot as Courtney Thorne Smith

Best Apatow People

As it is the almost the rule, all of the Apatow productions feature the same people. I've been an Apatow fan since Freaks & Geeks, but sometimes Seth Rogen playing the same fucking role over and over can be a little much. The following list comprises my fave Apatow players:

10) Seth Rogen: Yes, he does play a variation of the same cahracter every fucking time, but I thought he was pretty great as Ron in Undeclared. In retrospect it could be because this dude actually wanted shit to happen in his life instead of being a slobby douchy bystander.

9) Jonah Hill: Like Rogen, he always plays the exact same fucking role, fat dirty mouth smartass with a heart of gold; still he did get some pretty great lines in Knocked Up.

8) Iris/Maude Apatow: These little girls are the cutest. They're also the best child actors in movies right now, they just seem so natural, their performances don't feel forced at all. I loved them in that car scene in Knocked Up when one of them googled murder and the other one is crying (no clue which is ehcih and too lazy to google).

7) Jay Baruchel: Dude is awkward looking but funny and relatable.

6) Carla Gallo: Kinda sucks that she hasn't done that much. She was likeable as the hooker with the heart of gold in Californication and the Period Girl in Superbad.

5) Jason Segel: Awesome as Marshall on HIMYM and loved him in I Love you, Man; but he was particularly awesome in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (plus he showed peen which is always a plus, AND the dude is packing). He was hillarious as the clingy older boyfriend Eric on Undeclared and adorkable in Freaks and Geeks.

4) Martin Starr: He was my fave in Freaks and Geeks, dude just looked so incredibly nerdy, now he actually looks kinda grungy hot

3) James Franco: Dude is ridiculously hot, smarmy, sexy, funny, everytime he smiles I need to change my underwear. He also seems to be pretty smart which makes him even hotter.

2) Leslie Mann: She made Knocked Up, was the SHIT in the 40 year old virgin and sweet and funny in Funny People. Ahe also seems pretty down to earth and likeable in every interview she does. I agree with an article I read on Rolling Stone about her, that she's the best argument for nepotism.

1) Loudon Wainwright III: Best TV dad EVER!! Nuff said. I also really like his Rufus sucking on his mom's tits song.

Random Thoughts

Has anyone else ever found a long hair in their penis, without any clue where that came from?

Random Thoughts

Is it just me or did Ellen Page kinda suck in SNL?

5 things I've been loving lately

Now that I've gotten that sour taste out of my mouth let's get to the thing's I've been loving lately.

5) Diablo Cody
I don't care if it's cool to hate on Cody now, and really don't care if no one really talks like Juno, I love this chick. Her fearless attitude, the cheap shoes to the Oscars, and the really heartfelt speech when she won are just a few of the things that make me like Diablo more and more.
Her book Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper is really great.
Check her out chatting with Letterman


4) www.themeparkreview.comI've wasted many hours reading the worldwide adventures of these husband and wife team of roller coaster aficionados. Rob and Elisa Alvey offer tours for other theme park geeks like them (they even got married on Disney World) and document it all on their website. Who knew that (according to them) the world's best coaster is 2 hours from where I live, I really have to check that out:


3) Y: The Last Man finale
What a great conclusion to this great tale. A love letter to women and men who know how to appreciate them. Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra: You fucking rock!!! I'd still love to know Agent 315's name though.
Click on the image to listen to a great interview with Vaughan and the always lovely Whitney Matheson over at Usa Today's Pop Candy

2) Great TV
Thank God, Krishna, Buddha and the rest fo the Superfriends, the WGA strike is over! We still had some great TV to hold us over the break. Chief amongst them: LOST and Breaking Bad.
I never thought Lost had jumped the shark, but the flash forwards were exactly what the show needed to bring extra energy and intensity to every single second of every episode.
Who would have ever thought that AMC was the new place for great drama? Mad Men is the best show on TV, and Breaking Bad is another great addition to the channel. Bryan Cranston is the SHIT as a brilliant chemist Walter White, forced to work as a school teacher after life has beaten him down. When Walt discovers he's dying from lung cancer, he decides to start cooking Crystal Meth with one of his ex students, in order to make enough money to leave behind to his family.

1) Fables
I came across this great comic book title thanks to Whitney Matheson's comic book crash course and not since Sandman have I ever felt so compelled to get my hands on as many issues as I could as quickly as possible. What a great, fun read.

5 Things I've been hating lately

5) "Experts" on the news.
Check out this clip from The Chaser to know what I'm talking about

4) According to Jim
Who is watching this bullshit?

3) Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies
Opinions are like assholes, in that everyone has one. I usually respect that but I just can't understand why anyone would like to waste their time and money watching anything these idiots make. Parody can be a beautiful thing when done right(Airplane, KFM, Scary Movie, Spaceballs, Shrek), but these bastards take pride in dumbing down America with their idiotic pop cultural "jokes", pandering to the lowest common denominator. Mel Brooks please kill these motherfuckers.

2) TIE: That fucked up crazy Trisha chick from The Real World: Sydney & that asshole Frank from The Gauntlet 3.
Man what a piece of work these two bastards are. I used to think Frank was a coo,l easy going, fun loving guy on the Real World: Las Vegas. Turns out he's a huge douche, even douchier than CT on the Gauntlet III. I don't know who to root for on that show, everyone is fucking deranged. Can't there be a team with just Paula in it? Drinking Game: Take a shot every time these idiots say "Trim the fat".


On the other hand the Real World is getting harder and harder to stomach, specially when no class, homophobic, racist, crazy, faux-religious, peroxide blond loudmouths like Trisha are cast

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And speaking of no class, homophobic, racist, crazy, faux-religious, peroxide blond loudmouths we come to my number one pick of things I've been hating lately...

The despicable, Muppet voiced, right wing crazy, ....

1) Debbie Schlussel
No need to bother anyone by showing a picture or video of this cancer to humanity, instead lets enjoy a great video response to some of her (endless) ludicrous comments by the Young Turks.